This was the piece I did last December.

It was my first show that was completely separate from my alma mater, and it was the show that made me decide I really didn’t want to freelance. Finding time for rehearsal was a bitch, finding space for (the few) rehearsals was a bitch (and $$), and we had very little time to figure out lighting and entrances and exits. I don’t like working alone; I like being a part of a group.

It’s also incredibly difficult to choreograph on myself. I improv movement that is instinctual to me, but it’s hard to see the bigger picture when you’re a part of it.

For this piece, I was pretty out of ideas until I realized that I could take my phrasing and make it interesting though the use of the stage. I wanted every path to be very linear, and I wanted us to move from the idea that we only could travel parallel or perpendicular to each other. There was no narrative here, though it did have a dark tone and played with the ideas of doppelgängers and being followed.

The music is “Ten Piece Metric Wrench Set” by Amon Tobin (my favorite music person)

I don’t feel like I did my best dancing here. I was cold, unmotivated, and I didn’t want to be there. We had rented a zipcar and driven it down to Lake Oswego, where we’d never been before. We were tired and cranky, having worked all day and not eaten dinner. It got dark around four in the afternoon, and we were just ready to be done.

The show was in a high school, which I had no problem with, given my experiences with DDD. High schools can have good stages with decent lighting, and this one did, but it was hard to find and there was nobody waiting to at least let us know what was going on. To be fair, they are a small company and they were doing the best they could, but it was rough to feel like we were completely out of the loop despite the fact that we were early for tech.

But I wasn’t feeling it. I wasn’t excited or motivated. I was really low energy, and I could tell my partner (a fabulous dancer in her own rite) was ready to get home. The parts where I had to improv were hard, and I didn’t do my best. I moved slowly because I was being careful, but for once I was too careful.

I’m glad I did the show, but it really did solidify the fact that I want to dance in a group instead of heading my own thing or being a complete freelancer. Half the fun of dancing is the relationships we have with each other, with our bodies, even when they’re not touching, with our own styles and personalities and how they interact with each other. I’m all for solos and duets and trios, but I feel these are most powerful when part of something bigger.